I’m Dorene, founder of the NPE Book Club. I’m also a trauma-informed coach. But most importantly, in 2022, at the age of 60, I experienced an NPE (Non-Paternal Event).

I found out through a home DNA test I took “just for fun.” Years earlier, I had joined an online ancestry platform to trace my father’s family tree. He died when I was three. By the time of my discovery in 2022, all of the parents involved had already passed away.

I have experienced my fair share of difficult life events, but none of them compared to this. I immediately went into shock. As the reality of the situation sank in, my anxiety skyrocketed. I didn’t sleep well for months. That first year after the discovery was a blur. My emotions were intense, and I cried more that year than I had in the rest of my life combined.

When I made the discovery, I had already completed a life coaching certification. The tools I learned helped me begin to name and process my emotions. Even simple breathwork to calm my nervous system made a difference. While still moving through my own NPE experience, I enrolled in a trauma recovery coaching certification. That education became a meaningful part of my healing.

I also joined every NPE support group I could find online, listened to podcasts, and read everything I could about the NPE experience. By the time of this writing, I have read or listened to hundreds—possibly over a thousand—NPE stories. What I hear over and over again is this: the pain that resurfaces, the complexity of shifting family relationships, the depth of the grief, and often, the loneliness people feel when those closest to them don’t understand what they are going through.

As a trauma-informed coach, I offer one-on-one sessions to support people as they move through this experience. But I can only work with a limited number of people at a time, so I began asking myself what else I could offer.

I realized how helpful the books I’ve read—and the conversations around them—have been in my own journey. And that’s how the idea for the NPE Book Club was born.

If You’re Here

If you’ve experienced an NPE, you may still be trying to make sense of something that changed your life in an instant.

You may be holding grief, confusion, anger, or questions that don’t have clear answers. 

You may be navigating difficult or complex family relationships. 

You may not have many places where you can talk about this openly—and be fully understood.

This space exists so you don’t have to navigate it on your own.

If you’re looking for support, reflection, or simply a place where this experience is acknowledged and held with care, you’re welcome here.

You can:

• Read and reflect through the writing I share 
• Join the NPE Book Club to be in conversation with others who understand, while exploring books that gently open up new ways of seeing, understanding, and making meaning of this experience
• Or reach out if you feel called to explore one-on-one support

There’s no right way to move through this - only your way. 
And you don’t have to find it alone. I’m glad you’re here.